Friday, December 26, 2008

sunset parasailing

have u ever try a sunset parasailing?

i did. actually i was on a family vacation @ Langkawi.(yeah Langkawi sounds so boringgg)
but it was awesome. being me, the one who soo scare with height, was sooo high flying with this thing called parachute.but the confidence and pride the boatmen have in their careers can be clearly seen and reducing the speed of adrenalin rush in my blood.haha. just by watching their enthusiasm and listening to their instructions, we knew we had nothing ahead but an exciting adventure.the crew put us into our ski safety vests, buckled them and then slid us into our harness.

then,we were instructed to simply sit down on the flat landing area on the aft of the boat as our harness was connected to our parachute. wthin seconds we were gently rising above the ocean and continued until we were at our sustained height of 600 feet.

we could only hear the whisper of the wind rushing by. we could not even hear the boat below. the view was spectacular. we could see our boat at the pier as well as the abundance of scenery that one can only see while parasailing. What a great way to experience in Langkawi!
after a total of approximately 15 minutes,we were reeled back in to the boat,then released from our parachute and ready for the ride back.

it was comfortable, easy, and safe. truly an unforgettable experience!

grin! :D

Sunday, December 14, 2008

live by it

guess wut, i just came back from mandi manda @ sg congkak.
it has been ages since the last time i enjoyed myself like dis.

we splashed water. we played games. we had bbq. we laughed out wass so fun.

and i met a guy who has same birthdate with mine.his name is randy. sungguh bersejarah okay.
i am soo tired. kalau tdo mesti tak sedar ape2 dah ni.. hihi

plus, i'm looking forward to tomorrow's event. we'll have our monthly members gathering in "red-green-white" theme. mesti cute :D

eh i found this on the net. and i think its kind of true. tp part yg bawah2 tu mcm tak brape betul.mcm mengarut je. hahahaha.
anyhow, i'll paste it here , purposely utk bfren saya. hahaha.
(tp utk bukan bfren pun ok, bole prepare mane tau sooner jd bfren saya..muahaha)

Zodiac Dating Guide (Female)

Capricorn Female

The Capricorn woman is the one with the good gold jewelry, neutral tweed or classic Brooks Brothers suits and silk shirts. She always looks highly successful, or like she comes from old money (even if she doesn`t.) Your Capricorn woman realizes the value of a solid social network and will join organizations which will help her up the career ladder. Her lover will soon realize that he will need to share her with the world, and will be proud of her long list of accomplishments. She will come across as serious, conservative, shy, detailed, organized and self-disciplined. She delivers on her promises. She keeps her word and everything that bears her name is the best she can muster.

Your Challenge
Your Capricorn lover is practical--coming from a good background and having success potential is important to her. Some Capricorn women marry for social position, others are just concerned that their husband to be will be able to support her in the manner to which she is accustomed. You`ll need to convince her of your earnest ambition and your solid future. If you`re socially connected, by all means, don`t hide it.

How To Handle Her
In love she is slow and careful. Never one to wander from one flirtation to another, the Capricorn woman has her feet well planted on the ground. If her man suggests something new to her and she isn`t sure, he should give her time. Capricorn generally likes to mull things over and get used to ideas. She must never be forced or she will resist for sure.

Things To Do, Gifts To Buy
When getting her jewelry, think about buying an antique piece of estate jewelry, or give her something handed down from your grandmother. For a lovely dinner, take her to your club or to a restaurant that looks like a grand estate. Afterwards, give her a madly romantic experience, such as a carriage ride through the park in the snow, with warm blanket and brandy afterwards, or plan to meet her on top of a tall building, such as the Empire State building at 11:00 PM (à la An Affair to Remember, but in this version, both of you show up). Kiss her passionately, and promise her your true love.

Later, take her back to your apartment. Since this sign rules history, buy her a historical romance novel and read steamy portions of it to her in bed. Or, rent a romantic video, set in the days of knights and princes. Your lady is so used to making all the decisions at home and at work that she is tired of it all. She wants to be rescued now and then instead of having to rescue everyone else. Transfer all those feelings to you. Here is your chance to be her real life knight in shining armor and you will have her heart for life.

so, see u later

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Tagged 2

1. Do you think you’re hot?
tengok keadaan,cuaca,persekitaran dan jugak mood....... kehkehkeh....

2. Upload your favorite picture of you!3. Why do you like that picture?
i cant really remember when is the actual date of this picture. what i can remember is, we were berbuka puasa together @ Planet Hollywood. i love the food. i love the people. and i love the music!

4. When was the last time you ate pizza?
few days ago. i love eating. i wont fail u. :P

5. The last song you listen to?
so what - pink

6. What are you doing right now besides this?
i'm off to clearance sales!! yuuhuuuu... cheaper bargains

7. What name would you prefer besides yours?
( ohhhh sound sooo matured gitu :P)

People to tag :
1. lalink
2. "shafa"
3. farah ayuni
4. nettnadia

8. Who is number one?
god sent to me for life, my bestie :D

9. Number three is having a relationship with?
someone with high immune system.hehe.if not, he wont dare to plan for the next step. am sooo happy for her. :)

10. Say something about number four.
snow white that never stop making me smile and laugh :)

11. Who is number two?
an irreplaceable friend. i am impressed with her b*****s. wink wink

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

the day the earth stood still

i always amazed with xmas decoration especially those featured at shopping complexes. like an angel brought to me from heaven, my lalink nisa, invited me to the premier of The Day The Earth Stood Still, starring Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connelly. When i stepped in The Curve, i was so happy. lucky nisa brought her green camera. hehe.of cos la we have to stop whoever came across to be our photographer. ngehngehngeh....somehow, i am obviously put on weight. my jeans that i put on that day was soo tight and i resembled a skinhead a.k.a minah rempit.. huhu.. and before watching the muvie, we ate our heart out at The Italliannies.. wohoooo.. the pasta were super duper delicious..well, let the picture do the talking... check out the pixies.

okay thats all for now. will be updating again.

later ~!!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

quantum of solace

this entry has been deleted by the author

it made my day

i met nisa at pavilion for dinner as my business partners still on their way to office.
we had nandos and chitchatting endlessly.
then nisa handed me the "outing" cd. hehe.
then i needed to go to the ladies.
we climbed up the elevator and found a secret vip toilet.
of course the toilet room was spacious than the other toilets.
then suddenly we had our photo shoot outside. hahaha.
it was funny though.
we used to have pictures like that when we were at uni with our jeans and sneakers on.
but now we had it over working suits and high heels.
anyway, dah lame tau tak buat keje2 ceni.
it really made my day.

check it out!!

the pictures were sooo nice. even we are not professional photographer, but really these bring
an ear to ear smile to us. :)
of cos i cant put the "outing" thingy here. hehe

Thursday, November 6, 2008

peter answer

peter,please answer:

Is it just me or does ACCA cause weight gain?

Sunday, November 2, 2008

counting days

omigod i have less than a month for ACCA exam. wawwawawawa...

My classmates are so busy revising. diorang puasa dating puasa tgk muvi puasa chatting and all that.. kagum bukan.. yes that is the reality of ACCA. even more horrible if you are sitting for corporate reporting paper. the killer paper of ACCA. even worst if you do not have strong basic in matching concept..(read: LIKE ME) can get stuck for few sitting because of this paper.
menakutkan bukan?

yes indeed. one of the paper that i am sitting for this semester is this paper. if only you know how the burden is. if only you can feel what i felt.

they say....if you going to take an exam, you must be relaxed and focused so that u can study effectively. you must have strong belief and support especially from your love ones so that u can get at least the confidence to pass . even your mental must be in a very healthy condition, always in positive mode.your physical must be fit enough so that you can stay up night long. of course you must be ready to sacrifice all the poya2 thingy for a while and ready to vomit blood.

but its really hard for me. when i really need time to focus on dis struggle-only-to-pass paper, there are people who cant accept it. when i need support, they were not into it. and when i need that so called calm and positive mental condition, this is the worst i can get.

dear people, we have our own view and perspective in life. we may have the same goal but not the same priority. we may have the same belief, but not the same dreams. we may have the same purpose, but believe me its not the same life.

maybe for you, ACCA is nothing. just a piece of paper.
maybe for you, ACCA is waste of time.
maybe for you, ACCA is just crap.

but for me, it means the world.

i crave for your respect and understanding for awhile. tq

Tagged 1

ok this girl tagged me.

Starting time : 2004
Name : mimi
Sisters : 3
Brothers : 1
Shoe size : 5
Height : 161cm
Where do you live : Sepang

Have you ever been on a plane : Yes
Swam in the ocean : Yes
Fallen asleep at school : Yes.Always
Broken someone’s heart : Yes
Fell off your chair : Yes
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : Yes
Saved e-mails : Yes
What is your room like : Messy

What’s right beside you: Handphone
What is the last thing you ate : Sushi King

Ever had…
Chicken pox : Yes.Left me with scars
Sore throat : Yes
Stitches : Yes.Forehead and knee
Broken nose :Yes

Do you...
Believe in love at first sight : Sometimes

Who was/were…
The last person you danced with : Amirul
Last made you smile : Iman
You last yelled at : Nobody

Today did you…
Talk to someone you like : No
Kissed anyone : No
Get sick : No
Talk to an ex : No
Miss someone : YES! always...
Who do you really hate: this fella who can be so pretentious at times
Do you like your hand-writing : No
Are your toe nails painted : No

Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in :My sister's bed at home :P
What color shirt are you wearing now : Brown Hard Rock Cafe Paris
Are you a friendly person : I would say no
Do you have any pets : Used to
Do you sleep with the TV on: Sometimes
What are you doing right now : Eating
Can you handle the truth : Depends.

Are you closer to your mother or father : Both

Do you eat healthy : No. I eat what i want
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : No
If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : nisa
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : Quiet. hehe
Are you confident : yes

5 things I was doing 10 years ago
1. I had crush on someone from next class. I forgot what was his name. But he's cute
2. I was canned at the assembly
3. I was on board every weekend to go home, Penang-KB, to and fro. home sick punye pasal
4. I was thinking not to fall in love with a guy. I liked girls. OMG
5. I listened to boyband songs. haha

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire
1. Ferrari sebijik
2. Buy my mum everything she wants
3. same goes to my dad
4. also my loved ones
5. sedekah. ehem ehem :)

5 of my bad habits
1. Sleep with make-up on
2. Shop when i dont really need
3. Eat when i am not hungry
4. hold grudge
5. procrastinate!!

5 places I’ve lived/living
1. Jln Long Yunus, Kota bharu
2. Kulim
3. Butterworth
4. Bandar baru bangi
5. Sepang

5 people I tag
1- nisa
2- hana
3- nett
4- farahayuni
5- fz

Friday, October 31, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008

hana hana

Announcing : today is my bestfriend 24th birthday,
FARRHANA SHAFIK....and i miss u darling. :)

I want to wish you a Happy Birthday,
And I hope you have a great day,
You know that you are loved,
In every special way.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

dear you,

dear you,

i told u i wanna sleep. but i can't even close my eyes.
i tried my best to calm down, de-stressing my mind.
i knew, you knew.. how hard being me nowadays...

then,i took a shower, hoping if it will make me fresher....
then, i flipped through the newspaper, if there is anything interesting news.....
then, i bloghoppped around, if there is any informative phrase that cud make my day....
then, i got myself online and i ask u whether u still online or not....
then, we started to chat, amusingly in a very cold and lame language...
then, the conversation went even bitter...

i really didn't know why, we became like this..
i fell sick, u were not here, and i was really ok about that..
but at least could u please, at least be someone that i cud rely on...
but at least could u please, at least be the shoulder to cry on...
but at least could u please, at least be the one who give me faith to keep on...
or at least could u please, at least be the reason for me to carry on...

just now,i wanna tell u that, i found an article about how we can decorate our duplex apartment..
it was so nice. there were pictures so that we have a picture how the duplex will look like..
just now,i wanna tell u that, i found that my friend's mum is the owner of the cafe at armanee condo. how exciting it was that we might get cheaper price or wutever..
just now,i wanna tell u that, my father has confirmed his position in KL.
but, i just couldn't. u blew things off just like that.

i just wanna share things that can make me happy......i just wanna share..
if it is not u, so who else?

i know you are going offshore for some days.
yes i glad u did well in your job.
but at the same time i was so sad that u always not there whenever i needed u here.
its not that i don't understand. i do.
i just want u to appreciate the time left for us.
i just want u to appreciate what we have sacrificed.
i just want u to appreciate me....

yes this is me in my deepest, darkest, unloved moment.

yes ppl, u know how some things are better left unsaid so they wouldn't seem "real"..
and u could continue on living in denial -- in hopes that it'll keep the sadness at bay and u can live your life relatively happy?

that's what i was doing.


dear all, i just came back from hospital. yes i am not that well. but never mind i just want to flashback wut happen during my openhouse. p/s: this might be long...

okay we start from here. ini adalah sedikit preview menu on that day. nasi minyak,nasi dagang,lemang,rendang,cakes n cookies, serta buah-buahan. sedap bukan? menyesal tak dtg? hehehehe.. takpe.. dtg next time k

untung woo sape yg kanak2 dtg openhouse aritu. dapat duet raya berkepuk2. so agak2 next year punye open house kalau korang nak duet raye dtg la pakai baju raya korang yg umor 11 tahun. try la. never try never fail. :D

selain melayan tetamu, saya juga perlu melayan adik bongsu yg bole tiba2 dtg merajuk sbb tiada org melayan dia. hahahhahahaha. confirm la. muke kamu tu hari2 kitorang tgk punye. cet

ini adalah gerai ABC n cendol. gerai terhangat pada hari kejadian. hahaha. layan gile. bole request pulak tu nak byk ape nk kurang ape. sporting gilos makcik ni. cayalah makcik. we support you.

haaa yang ni best. ini ialah laksa penang dan soto yg tidak mungkin anda dapati di kedai2 lain. confirm meleleh air mata sbb pedas okayyyyy..

ini adalah muke terpaksa "tolong jadi babysitter kejap, makcik nak mkn".. aisehhhh.. turun trick dia, duduk je situ, jgn pegi mane2 okay..

ini ialah "hey mr deejay keep the record on i wanna.......".. :P ... yeahh inilah pakcik deejay yg memanjang pasang lagu 60 an. tertekan eden. skali je die pasang lagu letto. tu pun salah tekan agaknye. hahaha

ni tempat mengambil air minuman,sejuk dan panas. teh ais teh o ais nescape panas bandung ape ntah lagi bykla senang cite. yg menarik ialah 2 bijik peti ice cream kat blakang pakcik tu. fuhhh ice cream die mmg heavennn beb. tak caye tanye azrin ke boy ke hafiz ke, ala tanye la sape2 yg dtg mkn ice cream tu.

ini adalah gerai murtabak. murtabak pakcik ni sedap wooo.. tebal die smacam..kuah ade dua. satu yg kaler pink cuka tu ngan gulai. makan panas2 ni layan jugak.

ini adalah gerai sate. pakcik yg tengah kibas sate tu takde kene mengena pun ngan kitorang.lagi2 mamat yg pakai baju kuning tu, lagi takde kene mengena. saje je tempah die sbb sate die sedap n spesel. aritu selain ayam n daging,ade sate pedal dan hati dan kerang. sedap kan?
ini adalah khemah yg tak brape vip sbb takde carpet. model2 ini adalah budak2 skolah dr sekolah rendah sri sepang. time ni bole la tgkp gambo sbb x bz.. ehehe

ini adalah khemah utk org2 yg konon2 vip. so agak sopan sedikit sbb ade carpet. tp yg tak besnye tak bole jalan2 tgk food2 lain sbb sume served on the table.

wahhh sungguh panjang bukan entry kali ini. ok sekian. i need my inhaler

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Dear all my family, partners,teachers,lecturers,calon2 mertua, calon2 husband, calon2 adik ipar,ACCA members, unemployed friends,boyfriends,girlfriends, enemies,classmates, housemates,crushes,secret admirers,long lost friends and also current real friends,

you all are invited to my house for sedikit makan2 on 23rd October 2008.i am so bz and can't make time for a proper invitation. i hope you dont mind since currently we have technology that can help me spread this in just a click! hehe. so, a lot of food will be served together with goodlooking usherers. :) who ever got talent in singing can also enjoy yourself karaoke-ing.Confirm grand punye kalah kenduri kawen. kahkahkah.. Yes i know its working days, tp ye lah kan saje je. :P please dont come late at night because i'm going to sit for my ACCA trial exam on the next day @ 8am !!
see u
mimi and bakal husband

Sunday, October 19, 2008

emotion is bad, believe me

It's not for lack of material, I'm having a tsunami of experiences over here, it's that most of the experiences I am having don't translate well into blog-land, or maybe more accurately they don't translate well onto this blog. Perhaps an anonymous blog would be better, and I don't want to just give it up. Many of you actually ground me in ways you could never imagine, and I miss you.

I do believe that I'm standing in a different spot now. The view from where I am now is a little different. I am in a bit of awe...I have a little wonder. I am certain. I am fearful. I am climbing. I am washing all the floors in the world. I am accepting this task.

I hate bringing up the past for fear that I sound like I’m blaming someone or something for the way that I am now, but in this instance, I think it has a significant bearing. In simple terms, I was raised by a mother who doled out severe repercussions for having emotions. Growing up, I cannot recall an instance of being hugged or consoled when I was upset, nor was I ever asked what may be upsetting me. Instead, any tears or sad faces were met with yelling from my mother demanding that I smile and be happy.

But this strategy didn’t work so well for me in the real world when I started coming into adulthood. It didn’t work with other people. It kept me from developing deep relationships with people, kept me from talking about myself, kept me from connecting with people, kept me from experiencing life fully. I didn’t know how to handle all the emotions that come with growing up, with change, with the adult decisions that I had to make and how to be in adult relationships.

Suddenly, what had once proved to be an effective coping mechanism was about to burst – everything I had so skillfully masked was about to be exposed for all to see and that was not something I was ready or capable of dealing with at the time. Unfortunately, I always ended up burst them out to people that i know, but never they are people who I loved the most.

Now that I believe in the saying that the people that we love are the people who will hurt us the most. Seriously.....Come on, emotion is bad. So good luck with your emotional'll come out a lot at first and then balance itself out...don't worry

Saturday, October 18, 2008

you don't know me

Do you remember when we'd just sit in silence together and just look at the stars? Do you?

What are you talking about? We never did.


I was wishing that we did, back then.

You like to wish you did a lot of things differently, don't you?

I know, I know.

It makes me look like I'm not contented.

The next line you'll probably say is "Don't think about the past. Be grateful for the things that you have now,"

No, actually I wanted to say I wished you danced in the rain more.

But I can't dance. You know that.

Yeah, and now I'm wishing that you could dance.

Sometimes I wonder, just out of curiosity. What if I did some things differently?

Would everything turn out different?

Would I finally be content (whatever that's worth)?

Would I be a different person? Or is it all inevitable?

That it doesn't matter what I do or don't do, it will all end up the same?

Just like taking a different route to the same destination?

Yes, like that exactly. The way I see it, if you did things differently, then you'd just be a different you, only wondering what would be if you (I mean the different you, not the you you) did things differently.

So you're saying that I'll be different, then?

Yes.But you'll still wonder about the same thing. You'll still wonder about all the "What ifs..." and the "Probably maybes...", you know?

But how can you be sure?

I'm not sure. I'm just saying.

I don't have all the answers for you, you know?

Well, you should, I imagine.

Well, I don't. Sorry to disappoint you.

You're not doing this for a living. You don't need inspiration to do what you do. You don't.

But I want to. There's hope in hoping. Whatever that means.

Hoping for what?

For anything. For you. That maybe one day you'd be the person I'd imagine you to be.

So maybe in the unlikely event that I become someone, then you'd be able to take credit for it, even if you don't want to. I don't know.

It seems rather stupid, I know, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Of course it did.

And that's not fair, hoping I'd be the person you imagined me to be.

Whatever happened to just accepting me for who I am?

Would you like to just sit and look at the stars, and into forever with me? Just you and me and the way you are now?

I don't know. Why don't you ask me the next time we meet?

Maybe I will.


But do you think that if I didn't, things would turn out differently?

Okay, stop that. Don't you have anything else to do?

Not really.

Do you want to know a something?

What is that?

You don't know me at all.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

help me

I wanna have the same last dream again
The one where I wake up and I'm alive

help me

Sunday, October 5, 2008

of Capricorn

I wiki-ed my astrological sign, Capricorn. Some of the things i find amusingly true. haha. lets see..

Capricons are:

Disciplined / methodical / organized
Prudent / cautious / careful
Ambitious / focused
Trustworthy / dependable / reliable
Self-reliant / independent
Steadfast / persevering / stable
Persistent / dedicated
Rational / reasonable
Shrewd / wise
Aloof / businesslike
Traditional / conventional

Ideal Careers
any capacity of authority, doctor, lawyer, accountant, politician, teacher, principal, engineer, farmer, anything math related <-- and i hate math!!

Romance, loyalty, feeling secure, financial/material stability, ambitious mates, feeling committed, making long term relationship plans, dependability, reliability, perseverance.

Flightiness, being bossed around, crudeness/coarseness, dominance, game playing, ego displays, extravagance, being challenged by a lover, indecisiveness.

and i am proud to be capricorn!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

teddies dont hug back

mimi: so cute lah dis fella..

sara: is it a boy or a girl? does it has any gender?

mimi: i dunno.. i think its an alien. maybe a boy..

sara: Oooo...

2 hours later.....

sara: its a girl...


so cute lah my sister

Thursday, October 2, 2008

of hari raya

oh yes i forgot to update on my hari raya preparation. heck!

actually i am nervous to celebrate dis hari raya. there are too much bad memories during hari raya..guess i'm classically conditioned to the despairment of my past Eids. Some sort of phobia.

Ada banyak faktor, tapi of cos la tak boleh reveal semuanya demi menjaga hubungan diplomatik.


1) I don't like mercun. it reminds me of gunshot and it's distressing. plus i'm a light sleeper and sleep deprivation tends to make me grumpy.
2) For us, raya means no jeans allowed. "budaya melayu" la kononnye. alahai mak aku.
3) I'm not a fan of kuih raya. adik-beradik maruku takpe, yang manis-manis no thank you.
4) I value privacy. raya is that time of the year where privacy is considered a joke. i have a big family you see.
5) Raya is when you couldn't call your boyfriend because the line is congested, or he's busy attending to his happy family. and you miss him so much. and dis year i fought with him due to this matter.
6) Raya is when every single friends of mine wants to hangout with me but i have to turn them down every year. sigh!
7) Raya means high tendency of kehilangan pakaian dalam di celah timbunan baju semua orang yang mahu basuh baju pada waktu yang sama.
8) During raya all may pakcik and makcik would ask when will i get married? damn.
9) We have been checked in the hotel for raya where i think its better to stay at home. i miss my late grandparents.
10) Raya means Ramadhan is over.and it also means i'm going to eat eat and eat. this is a real bad news :(

But i really really really wanna enjoy dis raya. Wish me Luck!!

Selamat hari raya aidilfitiri. Maaf zahir batin.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

of a doctor

i used to have an ambition to be a doctor long long time ago. but may be this is what we called fate. so i cant be a doctor. i am not even qualified. but i have so many friends pursuing this medical line. most of them are my primary school frens. oh i miss them.

since then i always dreaming of marrying a doctor when i grow older. when i was small, i liked to watch ER. and then came the CSI and also the grey's anatomy. but now i am not really into this tv series. maybe because i have no time. why was i so obsessed bout dis doctor stuff? well actually yesterday when i was coming back to hometown, there was an old lady had an asthma attack on board. everyone was panicking. the crews were running here n there. while the pilot announcing about the situation and seek for any doctor on board to identify themselves. even the plane has been delayed for this reason.

suddenly, there was a guy sitting in front of me stood up and went straight to the lady. omg. there goes the doctor. he was damn goodlooking. and he saved her. this is what we called god gift to the women. :p by the way, i forgot to mention, he's married with two sons. tq

but now, i think its not appropriate for me to think bout marrying a doctor anymore since i am dating wit someone, who is not a doctor. yes he may not know bout the saving ppl's life skills, but i know he should be, must be capable of saving me if anything happen. at least sending me to the hospital or whatsoever. of course, he must be very well-prepared, mentally and financially before attaching officially with me since everyone knows i also have asthmatic problem. of course i'm going to need the best service.

or else i should start to think about marrying a doctor again.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

of me right now

They say love conquers all. I beg to differ.

Sometime when you are in love with someone else instead of letting go of your feeling you keep for your own good self. Reason being..perhaps you don't want to get hurt or perhaps you just don't want to let go some part of you, to be shared with other people...but honestly i want it to be shared with my loved ones.

But still you say "I love you".
When you in love, conceivably you think everything is possible. You thought you would die for that person, you thought you would do everything to make that someone happy. You would never allow any tears to be shed. When actually the truth is, while reality slapped your face you realised you just want to gratify yourself. Probably you love someone because it is hurtful to be unwanted, to be unloved and most of all you don't want to be lonely.

Love is never enough.
Have you heard someone said "What's wrong? Everything I did for you is never enough". How enough is enough? It's like life. Is what you are getting out of your life is enough? For me, it will never be enough. But along the way, effort will definitely help to alleviate things.

Syg, i know you did so much to me. thank you.
I wish i could share it all with you.

Friday, September 19, 2008


My body is sick.
My heart hurts.
Everything aches.
It's already mid of September.
Tick tock tick tock.
My head feels like it's going to explode.

There's a wheeze accompanying every exhalation.
I just want to crawl into bed and die.
I have a selection of fantasies, from which I choose one every night as a gateway into sleep. Those fantasies used to be technicolor films - travel, wealth, adventure.
Nowadays I dream of sepia tinged homicide, infanticide, suicide, and sometimes, Venice.

Monday, September 8, 2008

sebelum cahaya

it is early in the morning and its weird to find me ONLINE!! haha
actually its monday morning.. and i wanna start off with new and fresh mood
i wanna get rid of wut ever burdens and nonsenses which tangled in mind for past two weeks!

okay today i still dont get my car. so i'll go to class using effa's car.
ok i miss my car so much. i know its not a super car like a sport car or wut. i know this car brings me so much trouble. i know this car has so much summons that havent been settled. but i also know, this car is like my best driven compartment. it goes wherever i go. it keeps my books. my clothes. thats why when it is not around, i feel completely lost!

well its funny to see your sister is online just next to you. hahaha.. she is using her laptop.
it would be funnier if i text her through yahoo messenger. haha.. but i love it when she plays my current fav number...

Sebelum Cahaya

Ku teringat,
hati,yang bertabur,
mimpi,kemana kau pergi, cinta
Perjalanan sunyi,yang kau tempuh sendiri,
kuatkanlah hati, cinta

Ingatkan engkau kepada,
embun pagi bersahaja,yang menemani mu,
sebelum cahayaIngatkan engkau kepada,
angin yang berhembus mesra,
yang ‘kan membelai mu, cinta

Kekuatan, hati,
yang berpegang,
janji,genggamlah tangan ku,
cintaKu tak akan pergi,
meninggalkan mu sendiri,
temani hati mu cinta

yes its not a lovey-dovey song. it does bring a deep meaning. somebody pls burn me dis song :P

Sunday, September 7, 2008


after one week i havent been updating. and i dont wanna recap on what has happened in my life because it was totally sucks. i was so pls i want to delete from my memory. so i dont wanna remember about it. i just wanna live my life happily and healthy!

Dear God, what are the chances that I might find the cure to my misery someday?

Monday, September 1, 2008

dear bfren

i am here to tell you that i miss u very badd... :(

can't afford to fall sick

i always loved to blog

but i have no time to blog

neither i have time for myself

till i fall sick

and when u fall sick

money is not everything to u

u cant go out to place u like

u cant eat wut u like

u cant do your job

and ppl start saying ur not responsible

and i hate that

because people out there doesnt know how sick is like

thats why i hate falling sick

so ppl, pls dont fall sick!