dear you,

dear you,


i told u i wanna sleep. but i can't even close my eyes.
i tried my best to calm down, de-stressing my mind.
i knew, you knew.. how hard being me nowadays...
:(


then,i took a shower, hoping if it will make me fresher....
then, i flipped through the newspaper, if there is anything interesting news.....
then, i bloghoppped around, if there is any informative phrase that cud make my day....
then, i got myself online and i ask u whether u still online or not....
then, we started to chat, amusingly in a very cold and lame language...
then, the conversation went even bitter...


i really didn't know why, we became like this..
i fell sick, u were not here, and i was really ok about that..
but at least could u please, at least be someone that i cud rely on...
but at least could u please, at least be the shoulder to cry on...
but at least could u please, at least be the one who give me faith to keep on...
or at least could u please, at least be the reason for me to carry on...


just now,i wanna tell u that, i found an article about how we can decorate our duplex apartment..
it was so nice. there were pictures so that we have a picture how the duplex will look like..
just now,i wanna tell u that, i found that my friend's mum is the owner of the cafe at armanee condo. how exciting it was that we might get cheaper price or wutever..
just now,i wanna tell u that, my father has confirmed his position in KL.
but, i just couldn't. u blew things off just like that.


i just wanna share things that can make me happy......i just wanna share..
if it is not u, so who else?


i know you are going offshore for some days.
yes i glad u did well in your job.
but at the same time i was so sad that u always not there whenever i needed u here.
its not that i don't understand. i do.
i just want u to appreciate the time left for us.
i just want u to appreciate what we have sacrificed.
i just want u to appreciate me....


yes this is me in my deepest, darkest, unloved moment.


yes ppl, u know how some things are better left unsaid so they wouldn't seem "real"..
and u could continue on living in denial -- in hopes that it'll keep the sadness at bay and u can live your life relatively happy?




that's what i was doing.